Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
