thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You're a waste of cheezeits
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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