the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
