It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
