am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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