Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
