so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
