dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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