If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
How naked do you want me to be?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
