I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize