Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
