My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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