Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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