Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
