And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
