i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Where is the hickey?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
