Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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