just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
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