I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
