Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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