he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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