So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I am mentally ready for anal.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize