i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
