So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize