Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
