i don't like sucking hair
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
