Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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