How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
