Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
