1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
