i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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