Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
