It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
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