I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize