is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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