Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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