My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
