If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
