The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize