Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
