i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
