So drunk, too bad you don't want this
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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