I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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