Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
