her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
