with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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