Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
