You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
