He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
