I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
