everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
