hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
