I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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