You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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