I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
