would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
