have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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