you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
