so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
