my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize