So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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