Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
