we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
