Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
