Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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