well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
