have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
