so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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