Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
