If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
