ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
They took my balls.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
