Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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